Changed for the better and see a better, brighter future ahead of you. i took the advice given by my friends and tried making amendments toward my attitude, but alas, the only thing i see from you is that you're being selfish, childish and ridiculous towards me.

Surely people would agree that in most cases, when problem arises, both parties are to be blamed. i don't like to do such things like pinpointing whose fault it is.
I like things to be kept simple when i know i am wrong, and you simply assume that i'm totally wrong. at times you ARE at fault too.

people around me have been asking why am i able keep such a person as my bestfriend? honestly i cant really answer them. Yes it was wrong of me in the past to lose my temper so easily, which is why i decided i need the change of my attitude. Many times now in the recent weeks i've curbed my temper towards you. you who took me for granted, you who think you can control my life, you who never want to lose your face in front of others, you with that fucked up ego of yours.

i've apologised to you, with regards to the recent issue, because i believe in treasuring the friendship more than my ego, but you feel you're plain right when you said i said it for the sake of saying it. sure by all means feel and say it that way.

a very good friend of mine has opened up my eyes to how i really feel towards this issue, she told me the following:

'After so much you can judge for yourself whether she's for keep but don't let anger overwhelm you. Have a thorough thought k :)'

and some have told me to let it go as a guy,

However, after much contemplating, i have realised that this so called friendship between us is over. it really is, how much we wanted each other in the past is all in the past. you fucked your chance now even after i fought back for our friendship.

i ain't gonna let my anger get the better of me this time round, if you haven't noticed i haven't lost my temper just yet as i've made the promise to everyone to change my attitude for the better as i don't want them to be affected when i lose my cool - and you can't take one small thing i've said towards someone else who isn't even part of us to begin with, then i'm really sorry, you don't deserve a bestfriend like me. and yes, this time i'm not going to apologise anymore, because like you said - the first thing we utter is what we really feel, and this is what i really feel at this point of time.

there's a reason as to why you're always winning your quarrels with others, it's because no one really bothers with your fucked up attitude and character anymore, it's not that you're immune to people, it's because everyone else is immune to you. so you think you've every right to do as you please. Someone should really put you in your place. and make you realise that you're just plain childish and trying to control me.

One day you will realise how much I was there for you, when i'm gone, well now i am. i dont need you in my life, and i think my life would be much more blissful and peaceful without your presence.

friends, strangers whatever - teammates are all we'll ever be now. when i'm done with my poly life, you're officially out of my life - for as long i will live (nothing is forever thats why i wont say forever). i'll erase your very existence from my database, for you do not deserve me nor do you deserve a placement within my wonderful poly memories.

goodbye. and be well. it was nice knowing you - i guess.

P.S.

To all related parties who are reading this, i've said my piece and whether or not you believe me is entirely up to you. whether you decide to believe her is also up to you. j

Just know that i'm saying this now because i'm not only prepared to lose this friend, i'm prepared mentally to lose everyone related as well. not forcing you people to take sides, but see for yourself whether i've been treated fairly.